Sikh Wedding

According to the Rahit Maryada, which is the Sikh Code of Conduct, "A Sikh is any woman or man whose faith consists of belief in one God, the ten Gurus, the teachings of the Guru Granth Sahib and of the ten Gurus, who has faith in the amrit of the tenth Guru, and who adheres to no other religion."

Nowadays there are about 23 millions Sikhs (word Sikh means "a strong and able disciple") living all over the world. Most of them, meaning 19 million people, live in the Indian state of Punjab (from Persian "panj ab" or "five waters") located in the northwest of the country. There is also a Punjab region in Pakistan, but with predominantly Muslim population.

Traditional Sikh wedding is also called "Anand Karaj" or "Blissful Union". As in most of world cultures Sikhs have traditions held before the wedding ceremony, at the ceremony and those held after the wedding ceremony.

"Kurmai" or Engagement is not organized at every Sikh wedding. When it is held, then it is done a week before the wedding in the "Gurudwara" or in the groom's home. A Gurudwara or "the doorway to the guru" is a Sikh place of worship (temple). The most important gurudwara is the Harmandir Sahib or Golden Temple in city of Amritsar located in the Indian state of Punjab.

Kurmai in the Gurudwara includes "Ardaas" (the common Sikh prayer), "Kirtan" (hymns from Sri Guru Granth Sahib) and "langer" (community meal).

If Kurmai is performed in the groom's home, the bride arrives there with "kara" (metal bracelet), "kirpan" (ceremonial sword) or traditional sweets. She also brings objects that are believed to be good omen. These are coconut, "chhuhare" (dry dates), sugar and money. Bride's family gets a a traditional suit and some sweets for the bride.

"Maiya" is a traditional belief stating that the bride and groom are not allowed to leave their homes or change clothes few days before the wedding.

"Gana" is a red thread tied to the groom's right wrist and the bride's left wrist. The gana worn by bride often has objects like cowrie shells, an iron key chain, pearls and a small silken bundle (with some sugar) attached to it.

Few days before the wedding "vatna" or scented powder which is applied on the bride's and groom's body. The powder is made of barley flour, turmeric and mustard oil. After that there is a ritual bath. On the evening of the wedding or as Sikhs would say "mehndi ki raat" the henna tattoo is made on bride's hands and feet.

"Gharoli" ceremony is held in morning of the wedding day in the groom's house. During the ceremony the groom's sister-in-law with some female relatives go to a well or Gurudwara to fill a "gharoli" or a special decorated jug with water. The water is later used to bath the groom.

"Kahare Charna" is yet another of pre-wedding ceremonies. The groom is sitting on a stool doing his bath and four girls are holding a cloth over his head.

Bride's maternal uncle or "mama" takes the bride for the "chooda" ceremony. She wears a "chooda" or set of red and white ivory (nowadays many used bone or plastic) bangles. These bangles have been dipped in "kachchi lassi" or buttermilk.

The tradition is to wear 21 bangles, but today most brides wear 7 or 9 bangles. Today the bride wears the chooda for month and a quarter. Traditionally it would be for at least a year. Bride's close female relatives tie "kaleeren" or golden metal danglers to the bride's wrist. The maternal uncles put the "nath" which is a traditional nose ring for the bride. In the past big Shikarpuri rings were popular. They covered large part of the face.

"Sehrabandi" is held in the groom's home. Groom's sister tie a "sehera" or ceremonial floral veil to the groom's forehead. It is believed that the sehra brings the status of "Vishnu" (the creator) on the groom. Traditionally Sikh groom must wear a turban, sehra and carry a sword. He also has to sport a beard. Then some of groom's close relatives put garlands made of paper money on groom's neck.

The groom mounts a decorated mare. He is accompanied by "sarvala". The sarvala is a single younger brother or friend who "protects" the groom. The groom's wedding party or "baraat" then goes to the bride's home. There is lot of fireworks and dancing of the "bhangra".

Both families gather at the "milini" ceremony held in the bride's house. Elders of both families are embracing each other. Special breakfast is served. While the procession is entering the Gurudwara shabads (devotional songs) are sung. Shabad called "hum ghar saajan aaye" is especially popular at such an occassion. Shabads are performed by a professional "raagi" who is kind of local bard.

The Jaimala is what follows. The groom goes to a decorated platform. The bride enters the room accompanied by her sisters, friends and "bhabhis" (sisters-in-law). She joins the groom standing at the platform. The bride and groom exchange flower garlands. This is done with some humour. Both sides try to avoid the bowing of the groom when getting the garland. Why? Well, it is believed that if bowing at this ceremony he would also continue to bow to her for the rest of their lives.

The wedding ceremony or Anand Karaj held in the morning of the wedding day. The ceremony can be held in the Gurudwara or at some other place. If the ceremony is organized out of the Gurudwara the "Guru Granth Sahib" (the Sikh holy book) must be there too. The ceremony starts with the singing of "kirtan" (first hymns) by the bride and groom sitting in front of the Guru Granth Sahib. In these hymns God is asked to keep this ceremony pure.

Then the bride and groom chant a prayer. What follows is the ceremony of Anand Karaj performed by the "granthi" (Sikh priest). The ceremony includes readings from the writings of the fifth Sikh guru, Guru Arjun Dev. The ceremony is performed in four parts.

The main "topics" of this parts are matters of karma, dharma or faith and blessing. After each part the bride and groom bow to the Guru Granth Sahib and then circle around it. This act is called "lavan". Then there is a performance of the "Ardaas" and "Shukrana" prayers. The wedding ceremony ends with "Hukunama" or proof statement of the marriage showing that everything was done in a proper manner.

"Juti Chupai" is a funny tradition held during the wedding ceremony. Girls from the bride's family try to steal groom's shoes and hide them. But there is also the other side. Boys from the groom's family try to prevent it. The girls usually succeed when the groom takes off his shoes before sitting down in front of the Guru Granth Sahib. To get his shoes back the groom gives the girls rings called "kaleechris" and some money.

"Doli Muklava" is what follows next. After the lunch held at bride's home the baraat is getting ready to leave with the bride. Everything is full of emotions with performance of "bidai" songs. The bride is going to a new home. This departure is called "muklava".

In the past she used to leave in in a "doli" or decorated palanquin. Nowadays the bride and groom leave in a decorated car. To show love and support to the couple bride's brothers push the car as long as they can.

The groom's mother welcomes the bride in groom's home. She does it by waving of a special bowl held in a bed of jamun leaves or grass over the heads of bride and groom. She sips from it until the groom asks her to stop.

As an act of welcoming a mustard oil is poured at the entrance door. The next tradition is performed by the bride. She kicks the bowl containing wheat, grains into the house showing symbolically that from now on her food, whole life is in this house and that her arrival is going to bring prosperity.

She enters the house. She is welcomed by relatives, friends and neighbours. Each of them feeds her with some "laddoo" (laddu) sweets. They also give her some money or "Mukh Dekhai". As part of Mukh Dekhai she gets some jewellery by the groom and his mother.

All the dowry and presents bride brought to her new home are put into a "sandook" (big trunk make of tin). The groom's sister is the first who is given a chance to choose some dresses in the trunk. This tradition is called "Sandook Khulwai".

As part of the welcoming in the new family the bride and groom are asked to play some games. Here is one of these games. It's called "go fish". The bride and groom take off their rings and put them in a pot of milk. The couple then tries to find them. Person who find them first will be the boss in new household.

The wedding reception is organized by the groom's family. After the reception there is the "Suhaag Raat" or the night when the marriage is consumed.

On the next day the couple goes to the bride's parents. This tradition is called "Phera". Special meal is prepared. Both the bride and groom get some presents.