Bengali wedding

The Bengali people or Bangali as they call themselves live in the historic region of Bengal. This region of South Asia is now divided between Bangladesh and India. In India most of them live in the state of West Bengal.

Map of Bengal

They speak the Bengali or Bangla. It is a language belonging to the eastern Indo-Aryan branch of the Indo-European languages. Large majority of the Bengali are Muslims and Hindus. Only about 1% of them are Buddhists and Christians.

The engagement ceremony starts with Adan Pradan ("give and take"). It includes the reading of ancestral lines by a family priest. It is done to avoid weddings between cousins and persons who have same gotra. Gotra is the lineage or clan which every Hindu gets at birth. In most cases a person gets gotra of his or her father.

If everything is fine the groom's family visits bride's family and they set a date of wedding. This is called Pakha-Dekha.

The ceremony following next is called Aashirwad or Patri Patra. It is held few days before the wedding in bride's or groom's home to confirm the new union between two families. The ceremony is led by purohit, meaning a priest.

Before the actual wedding ceremony numerous traditions are organized. A day before the wedding or on the day of the wedding special low wooden stools or "piris" are brought to the bride's house. Bride and groom sit on them during the wedding. Piris are decorated by a friend or cousin.

Virdhi ceremony is held on a day before wedding. All family members are present at the ceremony. A puja is offered to the ancestors of bride and groom. After that traditional sand paintings called alpana or rangoli are made. On such a painting people put "ghot" (a small copper jug) with "amra pallab" (mango leaves).

All objects offered in puja are put on a "baran dala" (silver plate). "Sri" symbol is made on it. Bhagwan Narayan is brought by the priest to the puja. People worship this idol with the "agarbattis" (incense) and "diyas" (lamps). Vridhi puja is performed by the uncle from father's side of the family. The uncle and both bride and groom must be on a liquid diet.

"Dodhi Mangal" is the ceremony organized at dawn of the wedding day. Some ten married women accompany the bride and groom to a pond. With their arrival they invite the Goddess Ganga to the wedding. The women use water from a pond to ceremonially bathe the bride and groom. After this they offer them some food. Usually the couple gets "macher laija bhaja" (fried fish), "jal dhala bhaja" (rice cooked in water), "curd" (curry) and "chiruya" (dry flattened rice).

A cousin of the groom arrives in the bride's house. He brings "Gae halud tattva" or presents for the bride. The presents include several saris (traditional female garments), make up, fish, different sweets, curd, paan (chewing Betel leaf (Piper betel) combined with the areca nut), dhaan (rice husk) and durba (grass stalks).

Incense is lit, a sound of blowing conch shells can be heard. Persons who carried everything get some sweets and presents.

"Adhibas Tattva" are the presents of the bride's family for the one of the groom. They are sari for the groom's mother, fish, sweets, curd, paan, dhaan, and durba. The presents are carried by servants on a "kasar thala" (brass plate).

"Kubi Pata" is a ceremony of worshipping Sant Kuber. Kuber or Kuvera is the Hindu god of money, wealth and success. He is the Lord of all treasures and the god's treasurer. Kuber is also known as the God of Yakshas (savage creatures). Kubi Pata is held in bride's and groom's house on the day of wedding. Family members put three metal glasses filled with dhaan, "khoi" (pulses) and crushed rice at the altar of the Sant.

Snan is the ceremony held in the late afternoon or evening of the wedding day. It is held separately for the bride and groom. Several married women put turmeric and oil on the hair and body of the bride and groom. After bathing new clothes is given to the bride and groom by their in-laws.

Next in the line of ceremonies is Sankha Porana. Bride in the home of her parents gets sankha pola or conch shell. These are white and red bangles which were dipped in turmeric water. Bride wears a new sari together with the sankha pola.